There was an unspoken rule for Gen-X — it was in many ways as you have described here. If you got rejected by a girl… that door was closed. And there wasn’t really room for friendship. If you got burned by a girl, you moved on and didn’t even pretend to like them. Done
I am Gen-X as well. That ‘rule’ might have been true in certain social circles, but it wasn’t a rule among my friends at all. I had lots of female friends. (I didn’t call them females though, I called them women or girls). Some of whom I had turned down in a romantic capacity, some of whom had turned me down, and some of whom were already in relationships or we just weren’t each others type.
It think the difference is all in mindset. I didn’t continue to be friends with the girls who turned me down in the hopes that one day they might change their mind. I stayed friends with them because they were cool people who I liked as people. And I hope at least the same was true for the women I had turned down.
And in the time there were even instances where I did get involved with women I had previously turned down, and with women who had turned me down. None of those relationships worked out in the long run, but we all remained friends afterwards.
I think it’s a problem to have the mindset that being friends with a girl means you are ‘just waiting’ your turn or whatever. Some women are amazing people and worth knowing as friends, it’s not all about sex. In fact it’s probably the fact that I treated my lady friends as human beings that we would end up getting together in a lot of cases. I wasn’t expecting it, or waiting on it, or ‘simping’ or whatever. I was just their friend
No, but I don’t really believe in marriage anyway.
The way I see it if you are only with someone because of a promise, that is less special than being with someone because you currently want to be with them. I’ve had several meaningful relationships over the years and have no regrets. I wouldn’t trade any of that for being stuck in an unsatisfying relationship or giving the government control over my personal life like being legally married requires you to be.
I’m a pretty unconventional person though and most of the women I am attracted to felt the same way, with one exception. That relationship ended way too early because I didn’t believe in marriage. The crazy thing is I probably would have eventually married her because it was important to her, but she gave me an ultimatum and I hate being manipulated like that, so I broke it off. The speed at which she got back with her ex bf who supposedly treated her badly tells me that I made the right choice.
I am Gen-X as well. That ‘rule’ might have been true in certain social circles, but it wasn’t a rule among my friends at all. I had lots of female friends. (I didn’t call them females though, I called them women or girls). Some of whom I had turned down in a romantic capacity, some of whom had turned me down, and some of whom were already in relationships or we just weren’t each others type.
It think the difference is all in mindset. I didn’t continue to be friends with the girls who turned me down in the hopes that one day they might change their mind. I stayed friends with them because they were cool people who I liked as people. And I hope at least the same was true for the women I had turned down.
And in the time there were even instances where I did get involved with women I had previously turned down, and with women who had turned me down. None of those relationships worked out in the long run, but we all remained friends afterwards.
I think it’s a problem to have the mindset that being friends with a girl means you are ‘just waiting’ your turn or whatever. Some women are amazing people and worth knowing as friends, it’s not all about sex. In fact it’s probably the fact that I treated my lady friends as human beings that we would end up getting together in a lot of cases. I wasn’t expecting it, or waiting on it, or ‘simping’ or whatever. I was just their friend
Did you find “the one”? Like are you married presently?
No, but I don’t really believe in marriage anyway.
The way I see it if you are only with someone because of a promise, that is less special than being with someone because you currently want to be with them. I’ve had several meaningful relationships over the years and have no regrets. I wouldn’t trade any of that for being stuck in an unsatisfying relationship or giving the government control over my personal life like being legally married requires you to be.
I’m a pretty unconventional person though and most of the women I am attracted to felt the same way, with one exception. That relationship ended way too early because I didn’t believe in marriage. The crazy thing is I probably would have eventually married her because it was important to her, but she gave me an ultimatum and I hate being manipulated like that, so I broke it off. The speed at which she got back with her ex bf who supposedly treated her badly tells me that I made the right choice.