That’s just being honest, but it needs a lot more explanation to not be hurtful.

Lesbians: the real original lesbians.

I’m really glad to read this. Take care of yourself, I hope everything works out for you! ❤️

People are concerned about a vastly unbalanced power dynamic. Even if their 43yo partner managed to have no more knowledge and life experience then them (very unlikely), they have fully developed frontal lobes, the part of the brain responsible for things like rational decision making, emotional regulation, and critical thought, whereas op does not. That alone is a huge power imbalance as this makes op much easier to manipulate and less likely to notice issues. Humans basically have brain damage (when compared to an adult) until their mid twenties.

Add to this that there’s also a socioeconomic imbalance. 43yo likely has much more money (not many teens can afford vacations to the Seychelles without family wealth), and they’ll also have some degree of a network of other adults with similar capabilities. This all can be used against op to keep her compliant, typically in the guise of “helping” or “taking care of her”. If op becomes a problem, like sick, pregnant, or increasingly self sufficient, this can be used to sweep the “problem” under the rug. I’d know, that’s exactly what happened to me at her age.

I was afraid you’d say that.

I left home at 17 and shacked up with a 38 year old man. I also did it for the security. Home life wasn’t stable and how was I supposed to make it on my own? Worst decision of my life. He was a very subtle manipulator. It took years of therapy to undo what that relationship did.

Now that I’m 35, I’m not interested in close friendship or romantic/sexual relationships with men or women in their late teens to even mid twenties. That’s not meant as an insult to that demographic, there’s nothing wrong with them. A person’s brain isn’t finished developing until well into their twenties, and someone with only a handful of years of adult life experience has very little in common with an older adult. It’s like if you were to bed down with a 14 year old. There’s nothing wrong with being 14, they’re just in a profoundly different stage of their life.

I fully expect you to ignore this. 18 year old me would have as she thought she had it all figured out, so 22+ year old me paid the price. I’m just hoping it plants that seed of doubt so, when you wonder what a 43 year old man actually sees in an 18 year old, and if you start to notice how he might be manipulating you to stay dependent on him (hopefully not the case for you too), you decide to run sooner than I did.

Edit: I saw he’s fully “taking care of you”. If you stay in this relationship, make sure you can take care of yourself if you get out. Learn a trade, go to college, anything so you’re not trapped if you find you need to leave

I’ll start with the obvious: how old are you? The dynamic of 18 and 43 is much different than 35 and 60.

Checked their post history, did not disappoint. Check out where they respond to their own moderated, removed comment in a two week old dead post. They had a bit of a tantrum when I pointed that out.

Thanks for the link. That’s what I found, so I’m certain I’m missing something. Can you clue me in on why people are getting surprised and offended by it?

What is this networking effect you mentioned? I tried searching online but I think I’m missing the context needed to find the right info.

This is a great idea.

Total Eclipse of the Heart In My Ass

Definitely, I blocked them but wanted to poke the douche bear a bit first. Thanks for the assist.

Ooof.

Are you trolling? I really hope you’re trolling since the alternative is this is who you actually are.

🤮

Thanks for the summary, much appreciated.

Thanks for the link. I don’t understand your comment, though.

I literally just read about this. There goes that opportunity. Ugh.

LOL

TIL: disinformation is a synonym for “presumptuous asshole”. Who knew?