Oh sick, I can eat wood now

Good luck!

Do you have any stories to tell about that?

No specific stories come to mind, but my neighbor who is a very chill live-and-let live dude knows everything about all the other neighbors. He’s probably in his late 30s so he’s not a retiree sitting around watching people come and go.

I think it might be more that people get to know each other more and make more observations about people because there are less data points, if that makes sense? Whereas in the bigger city people are aggressive about not remembering you/not paying attention outside of certain situations (like getting to know people at the dog park).

Maybe the thing that sticks out are people in shops striking up convos and remembering you. One woman at the hardware store remarked that it was weird to see us because it wasn’t Sunday.

I’m also curious about what this is like. I’m probably a bit more “alternative” in appearance than the average person up there, but I think I could also blend in if not for the fact that they won’t recognize me as being from there. Are you talking about things like tattoos and piercings?

Tattoos are very common here but there is also a lot of military so it might corelate. I have tattoos and piercings but for the first time in my professional life my boss had tattoos as well lol. I’m an engineer who works mostly with the trades but maybe 10% of the time I’m dealing with “fancy” office engineers so maybe they do have more of a problem with my tattoos, piercings, and field gear wardrobe than I initially thought.

In my specific situation I think the fact that I’m not as formal or deferential as they were expecting. I am very straightforward and I expect people to be straightforward with me too. The field staff really appreciated it because they thought the big city girl would be pretentious and stuffy, but for others I didn’t follow the niceties they were expecting and I’m way too outspoken for a woman lol. In the bigger city there was less of a divide between the blue collar and white collar workers. I’m not used to that and the expectation to be “professional” meaning anything other than treating people with respect.

On the flip side of that people at all levels are way too comfortable pushing back on diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives very publicly. I haven’t gotten involved in that kind of stuff here because I’m still trying to get used to the job, settle in, etc. In the bigger city they might grumble a bit but would know better than to keep up the behaviors they were told wouldn’t fly. I gave positive space training to a group of millwrights back home, but I’m not sure I’d put myself in that situation here. It just feels 10 years behind. That’s not to say everyone is out there being problematic, but people are a lot more comfortable being a passive bystander and that’s allowing bullshit to continue.

Try a bunch of stuff, find something you don’t hate and that pays enough to survive on. Try something new if you get bored. I’ve had quite a few different jobs, or the same job in vastly different places. Sometimes I like them and sometimes I don’t.

I remember taking a career quiz in high school (on scantron, lol) and being told I should be a librarian. I was so confused? It’s been more than 25 years and I’m now thinking yeah, maybe that was the job for me lol.

Also Ontario, not quite as small as you are mentioning but I also came from a much bigger city:

• services you are used to and good you could find easily just… don’t exist? My dryer broke and I wanted to find a laundry mat that had hours that worked for me and my work schedule, but nope.
• people are all up in each other’s business and it’s normal. Gone are the days where I could have a quiet cry on public transit (lol what public transit) - people pay so much attention to your comings and going
• because there is so much less anonymity you kind of have to make the effort to get along with people you might not otherwise like. Tangential: the number of people I see in unhealthy, unhappy relationships because they honestly “didn’t have any other options” is wild.
• people are way more xenophobic than I expected. Casually racist too, not really understanding that it’s racism. I know it’s not everyone and I think it’s because they don’t know anyone belong to demographics that are different than them.
• I’m like a 6/10 on the scale of weirdo (not conforming to social norms) and no one even blinked back home. Here it’s a problem for some people.
• if you need a recommendation for a service, honestly ask your neighbor or someone you generally trust. They will know someone and that person is usually pretty good. We asked our home inspector if they knew any well people and he gave us a first name. After some googling we found him and he was excellent lol.

Eta, thought of a few more:

• you said small town but didn’t specify rural or not so this might not apply to you but the switch from municipal water to well and septic took a little adjustment. I went from surface water to ground water and the taste was very different but I got used to it quickly.
• also a rural thing: We ended up with a lot less land than we originally wanted because we didn’t realize the lower land/house costs were in places with absolute shit satellite or cellular internet.
• way more drunk driving
• people here smoke a lot more weed than I would have expected, which is nice for me lol
• people have been really nice in general which is the flip side of the lack of anonymity.
• rural grocery stores are expensive. I’m looking at you, foodland. There aren’t as many low cost grocery stores. I really, really miss the little green grocers I used to frequent.
• people take hockey very seriously. I guess that also explains the golf.

Two criticisms that come to mind are:

• the cause of the epidemic is the patriarchy, therefore it’s men’s own fault, i.e. the rigid gender roles and “man up attitude” are within the power of individual men to overcome and they just need to um… man up and break down those barriers.
• the cause of the epidemic is men trying to cling to the benefits they would have otherwise under the patriarchy and it’s a reaction to non-men having more status and freedom.

(Before you hit reply please remember OP didn’t ask for an discussion on if these are real or correct - just what some of the criticisms are. I’m not saying I buy into either of them.)

I can’t tell if this is a brilliant shitpost reply to pretty good shitpost or if it’s a genuine reply to a pretty good shitpost that still manages to out-shitpost the original.

Either way, I’ve been fundamentally changed by this experience and realize how much more work I have before I can claim mastery over this art.

I’m vegan btw

I have no issues with drinking recycled water. I’ve even had beer made from treated wastewater. Never again! (Because I’m gluten intolerant.)

Hello comrade 😊

Of the examples I gave pearl and coral are a hard no, but I was kind of surprised by how horrified I was at the idea of owning something with human hair in it. It made me wonder how other people draw that line.

I would also like to avoid bones, plz.

I think that’s my question, but I am realizing it could be two or more questions.

Does owning/using something that was part of a living being gross you out?

Either way, what do you consider to have been part of a living being? I think this is an especially interesting question if you do say it does gross you out.

If some things gross you out but others don’t, why?

How to do memes?

Step 1: cut a hole in the box…

Seriously, memes are just a shared reference. It can even be a shared reference to itself, like most copy pasta. It’s a way to feel included and share an experience, opinion, and memory.

If an individual doesn’t find a meme funny, they probably just aren’t part of that in-group and that’s okay. Not everything is for everyone.

Because they are military and some people do not like that.

This might be a helpful link: https://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/02/18/3691317.htm

Yes, it is still being formed. It’s a super slow process.

Unsolicited advice disguised as a question.incoming: is your relationship with these young people such that you have to listen?

I do mentorship (which is actually very perplexing that they want me to do this lol) and it takes so much energy that I have to really space it out but other than that I mostly kinda just let them do their own thing and don’t pay much mind unless asked to 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have observed that sometimes old people don’t understand their opinion is unwanted.

I’m approaching old. I need to remind myself that I don’t understand the struggles the youth have these days. I had it hard, sure, but their struggles and worries are not the same as mine. It’s a different world.

So unsolicited advice + thinking the kids are doing it wrong is an easy path to mean/angry.

Cops don’t exist to protect you and they don’t have to be physically fit to serve their purpose: using the threat of violence and the prison industrial complex to protect the interests of capital.