I understand. The mailboxes I’m talking about are only accessible to the mail carrier from the top. They slide the letters in from the top after unlocking and opening it to access all the units’ boxes at once, and then I open mine from the front. They would only be able to see the top edge of an envelope. A post-it note wouldn’t be visible. But they never look inside anyway, because these are incoming boxes only.

Yeah my bad, that can definitely be true depending on the credit union.

Many if not most CUs join a co-op of tens of thousands of fee-free ATMs, but depending on where you are and which CU you’re a member of, it may not help.

That article feels unfinished, but at least the author pushes back a little. Those numbers cannot possibly be true. And if they somehow are, based on my experience cleaning up that code will take nearly as long as a person writing it from scratch.

This only works for certain kinds of mailboxes, not the standard ones many apartments have that only open for the carrier from the top. The carrier has a key that opens the whole box from the top, they put the mail in that way. It’s only incoming mail, there’s no external slot to put outgoing mail. If there’s anything left in the box when they’re delivering, the carrier just assumes the resident hasn’t picked up the previous mail. They never take mail out of an incoming mailbox box.

Eh I guess it’s possible, but probably unlikely. You could always stick some tape on the sticky note if you’re worried.

I just replied to a similar comment, but here it is again since you replied while I was typing :)

Yeah, I have the same issue. I just keep the misdirected mail for a week or two until it stacks up and then drop it all in the nearest blue USPS mailbox, which is in the center of town. It’s annoying, but not a huge deal. Also I’ve read you shouldn’t write directly on the envelope, the post office prefers sticky notes so the original envelope isn’t defaced.

Yeah, I have the same issue. I just keep the misdirected mail for a week or two until it stacks up and then drop it all in the nearest blue USPS mailbox, which is in the center of town. It’s annoying, but not a huge deal.

Also I’ve read you shouldn’t write directly on the envelope, the post office prefers sticky notes so the original envelope isn’t defaced.

You should definitely switch to a credit union regardless. There are no downsides.

But fault for this kind of issue is shared between the previous resident and the bank. When someone moves, it’s their responsibility to change their address in all the various systems in which they exist and set up mail forwarding, which lasts for a year by default, and is free.

It is your responsibility to forward any misdirected mail you receive. The alternative is throwing it out, which is illegal. Just put a sticky note on the envelope that says something like “wrong address, return to sender” and drop it in any outgoing mailbox.

This is a pretty standard issue though. I lived at my previous apartment for more than 7 years, and I was still getting mail from the previous tenant when I moved out. People are so lazy.

I kind of get it in cases where no one has commented yet, and the OP realizes a mistake or how stupid a question it is. But once there’s engagement, I wish the OP would leave it up.

I’ve noticed this a lot lately: I’ll comment, my comment will get engagement, so I’ll check the thread again to reply or read other comments, do that, then come back later to follow up again, and it’s all been deleted. Like, even if the original post was stupid or embarrassing, the fact that there was genuine engagement, to me, means it shouldn’t be deleted.

But again, I understand the anxiety of leaving your own stupid words up if they really bother you, so I won’t lose sleep over this.

I’ve been here a while, and that’s an awesome new sub for me.

This was an even more satisfying find because my beast of an elderly cat is loudly purring on my lap. Thanks softcat!

Oh yeah, that last point rings true for my dad too. My family hired a health aid to assist with our relative who he’s helping care for in home hospice, and we fought with him for weeks to defer to the aid’s expertise. He believes, despite the fact that this is literally her career, that he knows better how to take care of someone on their deathbed. Despite not having gone through it before, or having any medical or healthcare experience. He would snap at the aid for showing him how to do something.

We ultimately had to have a heart-to-heart with the aid to apologize for his behavior and to teach her how to use his own narcissism against him so he would do things the right way.

I think he’d be a grandiose narcissist. He truly believes he’s the best and can’t be wrong. And when someone calmly and carefully explains why he is wrong about a particular thing, his mood flips 180 degrees and he blows up and gets super defensive. If we don’t give up trying to convince him, his mood gets even more sour and he essentially mopes like toddler. This can be for anything, even the most trivial bullshit that wouldn’t phase anybody else.

And he does all that while bragging to anyone that will listen that he’s open-minded and loves being proven wrong.

I’m not a psychiatrist, so this is all observational for me, but my father is a narcissist so I can at least tell you what he’s like.

In conversation, or any interaction, if the topic veers into anything that my father can’t relate to or isn’t aware of from his own personal experience, he immediately reframes the topic so it’s about him. This consistently happens in the middle of a conversation, and it usually interrupts someone speaking. The interruption is always unrelated to what the person was actually saying, so after he interrupts you can always see the person he cut off deflate and shrink away from the conversation. Because it’s clear he wasn’t participating in a two-sided conversation, he was just waiting his turn to cut in and take over.

He manages to come across as caring, but that’s only because he knows exactly how to act so he appears that way. But his motivation is only to be praised for his apparent empathy, because if you probe his behavior even a little bit, it’s like a switch is flipped and he goes into a full on angry defensive mode.

For example, a close family member is dying, and he is the only one available to care for them. And he is taking care of them physically, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that, but whenever another family-member asks for an update on their condition, his framing is always about what he has done and how he has learned what to do in a particular situation, it’s never about the condition of our dying family member.

He takes credit for every idea and new concept he comes across, even if the person who gave him the idea is in the room with him. It sometimes even happens in the same conversation.

Anyway, those are just my personal experiences living with an extremely difficult and selfish father who is incapable of thinking genuinely about other people. I learned a lot about myself and him by reading Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Worth a read even if you’re not thinking about a parent.

Thank you. He gets more normalized any time someone talks about this asshole and doesn’t mention his extremist and wildly unpopular views. He is a terrible person, and not enough people know why.

This article does a pretty solid job of explaining how horrible he is, though I’m sure there are better ones.

If you have a general interest channel that includes most/much or your company on slack or something similar, you could post links to articles that explain the problems with relying on chatbots or best-practices for using them in a professional setting, and hope the person in question sees it. That way you don’t have to call them out personally, and the whole company can benefit from a reality check on how these things should or shouldn’t be used.

I was thinking the same thing. Not to belittle OPs comment, because it does sound like a super annoying problem, but I’ve literally been unable to calm down or relax for the last few days, because the lease on my apartment expires tomorrow, and I haven’t been able to reach my landlord to get his approval to go month-to-month. I’m genuinely terrified I’m going to have to spend the next solid month looking for a new place to live (much easier said than done here), but all of that could turn on a dime if my landlord decides to take a second and call me back.

I’m so sick of the constant stress and uncertainty of renting and not knowing if this place I’ve poured all my money into might just not get renewed, I’d love to have the problem of trying to find a handyman or contractor. Oh and I know if my landlord finally does let me stay beyond the initial lease, he’ll raise the rent, because he can.

Your whisky preference is indeed correct.

I recently asked myself similar questions about two friends I knew for about 15 years. I thought I had been close with them, but I quickly answered No to all of them (plus a bunch of follow-ups I asked myself), and realized they were never real friends, or at least hadn’t been for a while, they were just people who were accustomed to seeing me and sometimes making plans together.

I always felt anxious after hanging out with them, never felt like they listened to or cared about anything I said, never remembered my preferences or things about my personal life from visit to visit, never believed me when I said I knew something, etc etc. It’s easy to get used to this kind of thing and to think it’s normal and healthy, but it was so exhausting and frustrating for me that I finally gave up and haven’t talked to them in over a year.

Sometimes these types of questions are super helpful in evaluating longstanding relationships as well as new ones.

The drinking water systems in the United States are so precarious and vulnerable, that I’m genuinely shocked we haven’t had more widespread issues with the water supply. The systems are made up of thousands of locally-managed interconnected intakes and outflows, and oversight is spotty and combative.

Please use a water filter. And thank your local utilities and maintenance people for their hard work keeping us alive.

Wow, that’s really impressive. I don’t really know why, but I want this.

Though I initially thought it was handheld, which would make their claim to be able to print on nearly any surface a little more believable. Still seems like incredible tech.