I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

*unzips

I know that any task not done immediately will be permanently deleted from my attention span so I hyper focus on getting the entire task done in one go so I can forget about it. My annual review said I am one of the highest producers in the group.

It kills me when I download a simple app to my phone that’s 60 mb. When I was a child we built the world off 1.44 mb floppies. How did we stray so far from God’s light?

Targets.

Oologies. A charming interviewer talks to experts in various disciplines.

Keva Lagos from The Last Emperoux by John Scalzi. Brilliant, profane, and aggressively sex positive. She steals the attention from every page she’s on.

Peak iron chef was when they had some kind of rare lobster and one chef boiled ten pounds of them to make stock for a soup. Like $10,000 of lobster for a soup. It was bananas .

Think about attending the funerals if you need the closure but you’re under no obligation.

My wife was getting trigger point injections for chronic pain. The LPN giving her the injections into her pelvic area was a redheaded knockout. My wife groaned in pain, the nurse leaned in for a better angle, I put my coat on my lap.

I got my first blowjob while watching titanic. So, that.

Same. A cold turkey social detox has left me much happier and I really don’t miss the constant agitation and engagement . I’m starting to read more too.

I don’t care if he was purple, his message was be kind to each other and we’ve failed to grasp even that simple philosophy.

Half a million karma, mostly from snarky comments. Deleted my account on November 6th, never going back.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have had to poop in a lot of places, so if it’s not totally scuzzy I’ll happily put down one of the free cowboy hats and go to town.

It’ll also dissolve the plastic . This is terrible advice .

You can buy a big box of alcohol wipes for cheap. They’re great for cleaning small things like earbuds and the case.

Fine.

Ooooooooh I’m an idiot. Also the stall closest to the entrance is usually cleanest because fewer people use it.

It’s a morality choice for me. People who need a handicapped spot should not be inconvenienced by me ever. I don’t care how far out I have to walk or how quick I plan to stop, I will never take up those spaces. At work I drive a truck with EX plates and I don’t even park that in the handicapped stalls. There is no justification.