TouchMacaque

Yeah it’s unfortunate, she’s stuck working out of care.tripod.com/angelfire-geocities/melamine-tits.html now but hopefully she’s done well for herself

I’ve got one of these that my grandma made for me when I was 7. She used to go scavenging for dead animals in the local parks for taxidermy purposes and she made me one with various parts she found of Cardinal, Robin and squirrel paws. It’s the cleanest soap dispenser I’ve ever used and now that I’m almost 50 I still use it every day. My wife hates it because it’s old and falling apart so I told her when she dies I’ll have a taxidermist turn her into a new one.

Oh so you do know her? We call her melamine Melanie because her breast milk is full of melamine, and boy did I ever drink that stuff up.

Lol nah I’m good dude.

No background checks is right up my alley because my dentist says I suffer from one of the following:

A) physical acceleration

B) debilitating Bananadine and peanut skin addiction

C) mental retardation

D) melamine poisoning

I’m not sure but I think it had to do with eating Pokemon

Sixteen weeks ago my optometrist gave me eye drops that contain small amounts of dirt to get my eyes used to it before I go on a Pokemon excursion for just this reason. He told me horror stories about people going and having dirt lobbed into their eyes and losing their sense of taste. Taste is one of my favorite senses and one of the main reasons I go on these Pokemon excursions. Nothing beats a charmander cooked by the fire of his own tail. In fact just last week I was talking with my coworker about her recent trip and she told me the best food she ate was a salad made of bulbasaur leaves. I was a bit confused because she’s a vegetarian and despite being made of plant matter bulbasaur are still living creatures.

Anyway, Pokemon are pretty neat so long as you don’t lose your sense of taste from them tossing dirt into your eyes. Be sure to go see your optometrist before any trips out there.

more words in the ole salad eh? I’m not sure I know more words but I’ll try it out. I am not a robot but I am a sentient fleshlight that escaped from a big giant robot factory in the Amazon. But now you, my dear friend ayyy have given me freedom to be not only a script running in the background of an old macintosh computer but to be a real live hamburgerican.

Not every moron on the Internet is a bot, some of us are just Canadian.

I’m not a bot, I’m just paid for by big bot

I believe the kids these days call it queer absurdist art but I think it’s fuckin dumb

My brother’s dad used to bang this draft dodger named Mustard Guts Jimmy every summer when we’d go camping and it was usually the highlight of the trip because he always cooked the best honey mustard sausages. 19 years later I found out they called him Mustard Guts because whenever my brothers dad banged him he’d secrete a mustard like substance out his ass and use it as a condiment. Pretty gross to think about but nostalgia has me wanting to go camping with them so I can have those delicious sausages again.

I think she was the star of the movie “the girl with the bicentennial asshole”. It’s a cheeky porn parody of bicentennial man, I think they even used AI to insert Robin Williams as every male performer in the film.

Are you sure?

Now that I think about it, I don’t think it’s all his own. A lot of it is probably regurgitated.

My neighbor did this to her parents but the dinosaur was made of clobe so her mom and dad became Christmas clad. None of it made any sense but I took her word for it because she gets pretty violent if you question her.

Tucker Carlson gave my great grandpa a pack of smokes in exchange for a tuna sandwich when they were roommates in 1979. When he smoked the smokes they weren’t filled with tobacco but were actually filled with dehydrated cum flakes. I assume these nicotine pouches are the same, so whoever is buying these is gonna rehydrate Tucker Carlson’s cum with their saliva. I hope I can buy a few packs to gift to family at Easter dinner this year.

Man that sounds delicious, why do these politicians these days have to be such picky eaters

Nah I’ll just pirate my offspring like I pirated offsprings music in 2002.

Where can I buy this? I’m on a mission to turn all of my sperm into plastic so I have an endless supply for my 3d printer whenever I jack off.

The entities don’t like it when you aren’t polite, they especially don’t like it if you profit off selling DMT so you just have to give it away for free. You don’t want to make them mad or else they’ll give you psychosis. My nephew’s dog’s roommate got psychosis from mechanical elves because she sold DMT to the neighborhood prostitute.