I once saw a supervisor use Google sheets to do a simple calculation. Could have opened the windows calculator, could have typed it into Google, could have done lots of things. But no, they created a new Google Sheet, performed one arithmetic equation, and then closed the browser.

I was so amused by this that I decided to program a 10-key calculator complete with memory recall in Google Sheets using Google Apps Script. I’ve made some wild Sheets over the years and have abused spreadsheets into things they’re not, but that’s my favorite, most useless Sheet ever. Whenever I show it to people, their first reaction is, “yeah, that’s a calculator, that’s a pretty simple tool.” But then when they realize that I wrote actual code to assign values to add then clear checkboxes and then store all these values, they look at me with genuine concern.

I know this isn’t the kind of delusional you’re talking about, but just wanted to share.

I have a cousin who once said that he’s gotten more tickets on a bike in Manhattan than anytime he’s driven through the city. He then followed that with, “in fact, I’m pretty sure that as long as you don’t hit anything that pays or collects taxes, the police will tell you to go away because you’re interrupting the flow of traffic.”

They trust the lies

I mean, what do they have to lose? Just a little wasted time subpoenaing some CEOs and acting flabbergasted while they blatantly lie about not knowing what was going on.

And then politicians using the insane logic of, “if you didn’t know this would fuck everyone, then why’d you let us buy it to fuck people???”

Not to mention telling you to go fuck yourself

It should be illegal to use “AI” like this

That would require the people trying to pass laws to deregulate AI to stop trying to pass laws to deregulate AI. But no, that’s not what we want. We want more money going to the top while paying fewer people along the way.

With the way Xitter “reprogrammed” new results from Gr0ck, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re just copying and pasting from project 2025 and telling whichever LLM to reword everything into legalese so that they can claim ignorance on how their laws are killing their voters.

If you could go back in time to visit your mom in her most difficult moment raising you, what would you say to her?

Hmmm… That’s a pretty valid argument. Now, normally, I’m not a big fan of hitting kids. So that’s why I’m gonna hit you instead. Get over here, you little shit!

Tattorack uses octothorpe. It’s not very effective!

The coolest part about the money crank is never knowing if it’s attached to anything

Evict horizon

Okay, so now you can barely afford your rent inside a black hole. Enjoy the enhanced granularity of your desperation!

IIIIIIII

ain’t got nobody, and nobody a-cares for a-me. *Scat beatbox*

I’m sorry that you feel that way both about your body and how you can express yourself. Bodies are so tough… I love the things I’ve done and chosen to experience with my body, but I don’t like how my body looks as a result.

On the topic of losing weight, I heard you lost a few pounds this week! Congratulations!

Thank you for sharing your feelings like that, I appreciate how candid your reply was.

What’s something you’ve been dwelling on lately, but it seems too trivial, obsessive, or egocentric to vent to those close to you?

Hey, fuck that song! Listen to Harvester of Constant Sorrow for an on-the-nose Thrash Grass mashup!

Then unfuck that song and listen to it again, and then this one again. And then listen to Leo, and then UMC, and finally fuck your own ears with the dulcet duality of Bardcore.

The only thing I love more than an artist creating their own song is another artist lovingly reinterpreting it.

The original McRib

Long live the Pringles cantenna

Looks to me somewhere between two fingers

The joke is that it’s George Michael instead of Princess Diana, but their hair looks similar. I hate to call you out on the internet, but next time you’re gonna be so careless, whisper.