homologous

Marriage means I’ve made it. Not like “my life is now complete,” but more like a sign that I’ve accomplished the impossible. That I really can make my dreams come true, as cliché as that sounds.

I’m in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (well, fiancee now 😝). Several years passed before we finally got to meet in person. Having been stuck for so long, unable to do anything or make any decisions for myself, it felt unreal. Ever since we met in person, I realised that this is the person I want to spend my life with… The problem is, she lives in a different country. How were we supposed to take the next step when we’re thousands of miles away from each other?

Well, the quickest way to a visa is through marriage. Considering the current political climate and that:

• It’s a queer relationship
• I’m transgender
• We’re young
• She’s not white
• She lives in a country most people haven’t even heard of

… I was pretty much expecting this to be near impossible. But somehow, despite literally everything being against us, my petition for the visa got approved on the first submission???

Point is, for me, marriage is a means to achieving something I genuinely thought would never happen.

Wow, the difference being that noticeable is wild. I also work with 5- and 6-year-olds at my job and I have to constantly remind them to wash their hands— with soap! I’ve literally had kids say “yes” to “did you wash your hands?” only to follow it up with “with soap?” and get an eyeroll and sulk back to the sink 🥲

I wash my hands plenty at work, because my hands get grimy and sticky just from being in their vicinity for more than 15 minutes lol, but yeah also washing more at home now!

I read this comment when this post was relatively new and just wanted to say that you’ve somehow subconsciously inspired me to wash my hands more often over the past 3 weeks. Specifically when coming in from outside. So thanks 😃

damn, does it really make that much of a difference? how does it feel now with the machine?

my doctor and i suspect i have sleep apnea. I’ll lose up to like 2 hours of sleep per night from micro-awakenings (so out of 8 hours “slept” ill get only 6 hours of actual sleep), but ive been putting off a proper sleep study for a few months now. ive been starting to wonder how it feels to actually be rested for once

yes, of course. no exceptions. kind of disgusted by all the people in the comments admitting they don’t??? also your roommate reminds me of a roommate i used to have whom i despised and one of the reasons for that being her horrible hygiene. she admitted to pissing in our single private shower, which was shared amongst us (i had 2 roommates, so the 3 of us), and then after that called me germophobic for suggesting the idea that a shower/tub needs to be cleaned weekly??? also kept leaving piss in the toilet and never took out the trash. dont even get me started

coffee shop drinks

i try to make my own at home but i buy individual drinks for anything that’s too expensive in “bulk” like good quality matcha or certain flavours.

i feel so spoiled walking around drinking my one-a-month iced pistacho white chocolate matcha latte with oat milk </3

because politics literally affect every aspect of life? i mean i know it can be tiring and it’s really depressing, i know on mastodon you can filter out posts but idk about lemmy/piefed, but politics will always be talked about and trying to avoid it entirely or saying “i dont do politics” is just ignorance

dude im struggling with this exact same thing T_T ace has such a “strict” definition that i technically don’t fit into but the label has always felt right to me and i relate a lot to the asexual experience. but yeah what everyone else is sayin— you’re still valid and you can consider yourself whatever you want. also, labels are tools, so if they aren’t helping and are rather causing distress, then dont even worry about all that :)) (easier said than done, i know)

Ooh okay… well that’s annoying lol, especially since I’m not the one in charge of the carrier plan (we switched carriers shortly after I switched phones). Thanks for the example and article link :)

Well I already fight with my computer constantly having switched to Linux lmao so it’s nothing new. But RCS is the one thing I’m worried about since my phone SIM is fucked up and SMS doesn’t work at all so I have to resort to Google Messages to text at all. I wonder if it’s to do with it being a virtual SIM? Or my phone being unlocked and not from the carrier? idk

I’m on a Z Flip 😅 so nah you’re not the only one on stock Android. I want to grab a Pixel and switch to GrapheneOS, but I’ll have to wait until I can afford a new phone and when this one bites the dust since I only got it about a year ago. I unfortunately only found out about Android ROMs and got into cybersecurity shortly after I bought it

i try my best not to and limit supporting them as much as possible. obviously you can’t cut out every single thing unfortunately because capitalism loves exploitation, but i try to redirect my efforts elsewhere. for example, if i like the music of an immoral artist, I’ll download the music instead of streaming it, refrain from buying merchandise, stuff like that. my money and time can be going towards someone else who actually deserves it.

i explain it like this: i dont buy from Starbucks because it’s not a good company (setting their bad coffee aside). does the lack of profit from just me affect them? probably not much. but that $7 or whatever i spend on a latte could make a huge difference to my local coffee shop. that one view, one stream, one social media post, could go towards someone else

i also don’t think it’s possible to “separate art from artist.” part of what makes art, art, is who made it. who were they? what environment was the art made in? what perspective is the subject being depicted from? the artist is ingrained in each of their creations. songs i used to like, i can no longer listen to after discovering things the artist had done. its just not the same

I’m an American. There definitely are some people who call their parents by their first names, but I have never done so (in a serious manner). I used to have a friend who would call her adopted mother by her first name, but that’s the only time I’ve ever witnessed it personally. If someone were to refer to their parents by first name, I would assume they’re very distant.

Even though I’ve had complicated relationships with both my parents (as they were both abusive), I would never consider calling them by first name. I did so once in a joking manner with my dad many years ago, and his response scared me into never doing that again, lmao. It’s strictly “Mom” and “Dad” for them, even if I were to go no-contact in the future

It’s different with other family members, though. I similarly call my grandparents “Grandma” or “Grandpa,” but I’ll say “Grandma [First Name]” for example if I need to clarify whether it’s my maternal or paternal grandparent. I’ve only ever called aunts and uncles by their first names, but I’ll also clarify with “Aunt [First Name]” if the person I’m talking to isn’t familiar with them by name.

There’s definitely some level of respect expected to those of older generations, especially when blood-related, but I’m really against the whole idea. I despise the entire maternal side of my family; like, if I don’t like them, then I don’t like them. I’m not gonna put up with someone who’s a dick just because we’re “related.”