Probably getting in on it tbh

Don’t take it out of the birds they’re just stressed

1st taste…?

Ah yes, a limitless duel of the minds in your local public restroom. Our battle will be legendary.

This seems like development on the “hologram” technology that was attempted like this ages ago.

I’m smart enough to know just how much of an idiot I really am.

They did surgery on a grape

Your history is full of bad takes. Maybe pay attention to those downvotes and think about it.

Polt-i-cal-it-cians.

I’d raid a Google data center and work on rebuilding the Internet with whatever remains of their infrastructure. Wait is this us talking about our apocalypse plans or…?

Vlog bros are my heroes.

Sometimes simple is best.

Fuck this “manliness” bullshit. Wear a skirt. Punch anyone who makes a thing of it. You do you, boss and you do it to be happy with yourself. Nobody else gets to decide that. Nobody.

“Where [is] evil? It’s that large part of every man that wants to hate without limit, that wants to hate with God on its side.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night

How would you get a small cylinder (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) unstuck from a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana?

I found the dad!

The hot rod flames make it go faster

You’re a good person. Please take care of yourself today I want you around later when it’s not crazy outside, okay?

“your customer satisfaction has been noted.” Bang!

“I need privacy not because my actions are questionable, but because your judgement and intentions are.” - Stéphane Bortzmeyer