Actually, I’m a Nancy!

You’re right, everyone is only allowed one flight per year this doesn’t add up

I want this to still exist

“Department / Corporate Retreat”

As in, “we’re holding our annual corporate retreat next Wednesday! It’ll be offsite, you’re all required to be there, and we’ll be spending the day having a 6 hour meeting about absolutely nothing, just like we do every year. But dont worry, when we’re done we’ll play a game no one wants to play, or do a craft no one wants to do, but everyone will pretend they enjoy it because if they don’t, they’re not ‘team players.’”

This year, our day-long-nothing-meeting was about how management is working to secure everyone’s jobs despite budget cuts, and we have nothing to worry about. Then we took a personality quiz that said I was a character from Stranger Things. Then the next day, they told me I’m getting laid off and have 3 months left at the company.

Fucking RETREATS are so relaxing.

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I’m in!

The name for my imaginary band is: The Cuban Sandwich Crisis

But I’ve also got a list of names as I come up with them.

Favorite already taken band name: Youth in Asia

Edit: formatting

We bought a giant bag of plastic springs and one of ours loves to play fetch with them

The worst one they tell is "We’re cops, were not allowed to lie. "

Fuckers.

In some parts of the US (at least, maybe nationally) the castle doctrine even extends to your car. It is thought of as an “extension” of your home/castle.

Edit: spelling

Technically this is illegal in lots of countries. It’s just hard to enforce afik.

ah thanks. I didn’t know that had a smell lol, but I’ve also never been around it not in a body

CSF?

Button first then forget to zip

Hehe same

The joke here is that neutronium might be the only substance dense enough to actually weigh 70lbs and still be able to fit into a flat rate box, which has set dimensions and a limit of 70lbs.

Haven’t you heard?

In all seriousness though, thanks for the pink Floyd cover!

Russian light cruisers

Psh now I know youre full of it. The Russians can’t travel on light

That’s some sci-fi nonsense.

1. Where is “planet earth?”
2. I’ve seen Kremlin’s and it’s a great movie. Just don’t feed your mogwai after midnight or get it wet, and you don’t have to deal with kremlins.
3. Aim for the heart and mind, obviously. Quicker kill.

Checkmate lib.