i know people making 150K a year, who complain they are broke.
and they often actively refuse any suggestion of cutting their spending, getting a roommate, etc. if you suggest maybe their trade in their 50K car they are spending $1000/mo that that they never drive… they tell you to f yourself.
it’s hilarious. and they go on and go on just like OP about how it’s the government’s fault. Nothing, including their own personal choices, is their own responsibility. They are just a hapless victim and the world is a big mean place oppressing them for choosing to waste $100 a day on uber eats rather than cook and spend $10 a day for food.
I’ll second stray’s opinion, but also add on that you’re typically fighting for a job in those shitty areas. Anon is likely incredibly lucky to have gotten the above average wage job, and will still be in a big competition with others for the average wage jobs.
I get that. I do feel that with 15 extra hours per week, I could figure out some kind of side hustle. Even if all I did was sell random crappy art for cheap, it’d keep me saner than if I spent that time on 4chan
Working two jobs can be difficult to impossible. The schedules usually aren’t fixed and cause frequent conflicts. A lot of places aren’t even willing to hire you if already work elsewhere because they don’t want the hassle.
The problem with saying obvious things to people with doomer attitudes is that they dismiss them out of hand as soon as they hear them. Literally any suggestion that is made is “dumb” or “impossible” or ends up being more evidence that the system is out to hurt and oppress them specifically.
And of course, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right - or at least the latter part is true.
Overcoming any doomer mindset and beginning to work on your problems starts with admitting that maybe things aren’t quite as bleak as you think they are, and allowing yourself to believe that a better life is possible. Without that, no advice -regardless of content - will help
This is why no therapist will ever say “okay, so here’s what you need to do to solve your fucked up problems.” Their patients need to come to the answers themselves to accept and take action on them.
This is not controversial. It is literally standard practice among mental health professionals.
Right, but the reason it was posted here is to garner sympathy for this sort of doomer attitude, and I see this sort of attitude on Lemmy quite frequently. It’s the attitude of all the people downvoting me. So I figured I’d address the issue directly
Nah, im downvoting youcause you are not providing a lot of value to the conversation and keep dancing around with statements meant to look down on others.
Basically im downvoting you cause i dont really care to watch you metaphorically masturbate to your own intelligence as a conversation style.
I’m not dancing around. I’m getting to the actual problem (a lack of belief that things could be better), rather than dancing around it (presenting some object-level suggestions that the doomers will inevitably shoot down, since they aren’t addressing the actual problem - believing things could be better).
People are downvoting you because you claim that they could do better relatively easily but refuse to explain how. It’s hard to not take it as insensitive bullshit when you don’t substantiate your claim, and why wouldn’t people downvote insensitive bullshit in a thread like this?
Anyone who isn’t doom-brained could read OOP and come up with some ideas for what they would do in that situation in approximately 5 seconds. Others in this thread have already come up with some excellent ideas.
But having dealt with this mindset in myself and others in the past, and seeing it play out n times on Lemmy, I could already predict the pattern, which you can see playing out again in the other comments which have provided object-level solitions - naysayers come along and start listing every reason under the sun for why that particular idea couldn’t possibly work. And also it sucks. And also if you do it you’re a bad person.
I’ll put it plainly - the solution is to start thinking of solutions. Your own solutions. They are the only ones you’ll ever actually believe.
You still have not disclosed the quote “serious financial options”, and as an autistic person who is not able to deduce conclusions based on breadcrumbs all you’re doing to me is withholding information. So, congratulations I guess. You made your point while filtering the disabled.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, I’m not autistic and I also don’t get the point he’s trying to make. Probably something like “get a better job”, “leave to somewhere where things are better”, “go live with your friends/parents/whatever”.
Usually these people take it as an article of faith that there’s something you could do to unfuck your situation, without necessarily having any idea what that something is. I think he’s just fundamentally speaking abstractly.
They are literally in the other response saying they dont really have any real suggestiins but are sure that if they were in that situation that they woukd come up with something cause they are soooo clever. Like it purposely lacks empathetic insight or any awareness of luck and situational start points.
Its really just fluff to boost their ego and keep a negative view on others. It just isnt conversational, its the same as chest pumping but with fancy sounds.
I, of course, have my own ideas about what I would do in OP’s shoes. But I don’t claim that these are the “right” answers, and I don’t think these are the answers you “should” give. Literally all I’m saying is that OOP has options, and his biggest problem is that he refuses to believe they exist. So if you are in a similar situation to OOP, or empathize with him and want to know what advice would improve his situation, what I am saying is that you should start by opening up to the possibility that OP improving his life is under his control, and then just start thinking of ways that he could. And sure, some of these ideas you come up with will be dumb, or wrong. Some will seem like great ideas but will fall apart during implementation. And that’s all fine. There are no bad ideas, even if they don’t work, because the process of creating these ideas in the first place is the most important part of the process.
Are you going to share the knowledge with the class or keep it to yourself?
Anon needs to find full time employment and get a roommate.
And vote blue
i know people making 150K a year, who complain they are broke.
and they often actively refuse any suggestion of cutting their spending, getting a roommate, etc. if you suggest maybe their trade in their 50K car they are spending $1000/mo that that they never drive… they tell you to f yourself.
it’s hilarious. and they go on and go on just like OP about how it’s the government’s fault. Nothing, including their own personal choices, is their own responsibility. They are just a hapless victim and the world is a big mean place oppressing them for choosing to waste $100 a day on uber eats rather than cook and spend $10 a day for food.
I don’t see what stops them from having a second shitty job? At 25 hours a week they’ve definitely got free time.
Dont quote me on this but having a 2nd job would disqualify them from Medicare, which appears to be their only form of health insurance.
That makes sense - for a given value of sense. American health care is just evil.
I’ll second stray’s opinion, but also add on that you’re typically fighting for a job in those shitty areas. Anon is likely incredibly lucky to have gotten the above average wage job, and will still be in a big competition with others for the average wage jobs.
I get that. I do feel that with 15 extra hours per week, I could figure out some kind of side hustle. Even if all I did was sell random crappy art for cheap, it’d keep me saner than if I spent that time on 4chan
Working two jobs can be difficult to impossible. The schedules usually aren’t fixed and cause frequent conflicts. A lot of places aren’t even willing to hire you if already work elsewhere because they don’t want the hassle.
The problem with saying obvious things to people with doomer attitudes is that they dismiss them out of hand as soon as they hear them. Literally any suggestion that is made is “dumb” or “impossible” or ends up being more evidence that the system is out to hurt and oppress them specifically.
And of course, whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right - or at least the latter part is true.
Overcoming any doomer mindset and beginning to work on your problems starts with admitting that maybe things aren’t quite as bleak as you think they are, and allowing yourself to believe that a better life is possible. Without that, no advice -regardless of content - will help
Go away, Ayn Rand.
This is why no therapist will ever say “okay, so here’s what you need to do to solve your fucked up problems.” Their patients need to come to the answers themselves to accept and take action on them.
This is not controversial. It is literally standard practice among mental health professionals.
Like I said: go away, chud.
Why?
You’re not even talking to the 4chan OP directly (probably), this is a comment thread on a different site.
Right, but the reason it was posted here is to garner sympathy for this sort of doomer attitude, and I see this sort of attitude on Lemmy quite frequently. It’s the attitude of all the people downvoting me. So I figured I’d address the issue directly
Nah, im downvoting youcause you are not providing a lot of value to the conversation and keep dancing around with statements meant to look down on others.
Basically im downvoting you cause i dont really care to watch you metaphorically masturbate to your own intelligence as a conversation style.
I’m not dancing around. I’m getting to the actual problem (a lack of belief that things could be better), rather than dancing around it (presenting some object-level suggestions that the doomers will inevitably shoot down, since they aren’t addressing the actual problem - believing things could be better).
People are downvoting you because you claim that they could do better relatively easily but refuse to explain how. It’s hard to not take it as insensitive bullshit when you don’t substantiate your claim, and why wouldn’t people downvote insensitive bullshit in a thread like this?
Anyone who isn’t doom-brained could read OOP and come up with some ideas for what they would do in that situation in approximately 5 seconds. Others in this thread have already come up with some excellent ideas.
But having dealt with this mindset in myself and others in the past, and seeing it play out n times on Lemmy, I could already predict the pattern, which you can see playing out again in the other comments which have provided object-level solitions - naysayers come along and start listing every reason under the sun for why that particular idea couldn’t possibly work. And also it sucks. And also if you do it you’re a bad person.
I’ll put it plainly - the solution is to start thinking of solutions. Your own solutions. They are the only ones you’ll ever actually believe.
You still have not disclosed the quote “serious financial options”, and as an autistic person who is not able to deduce conclusions based on breadcrumbs all you’re doing to me is withholding information. So, congratulations I guess. You made your point while filtering the disabled.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, I’m not autistic and I also don’t get the point he’s trying to make. Probably something like “get a better job”, “leave to somewhere where things are better”, “go live with your friends/parents/whatever”.
Usually these people take it as an article of faith that there’s something you could do to unfuck your situation, without necessarily having any idea what that something is. I think he’s just fundamentally speaking abstractly.
They are literally in the other response saying they dont really have any real suggestiins but are sure that if they were in that situation that they woukd come up with something cause they are soooo clever. Like it purposely lacks empathetic insight or any awareness of luck and situational start points.
Its really just fluff to boost their ego and keep a negative view on others. It just isnt conversational, its the same as chest pumping but with fancy sounds.
I, of course, have my own ideas about what I would do in OP’s shoes. But I don’t claim that these are the “right” answers, and I don’t think these are the answers you “should” give. Literally all I’m saying is that OOP has options, and his biggest problem is that he refuses to believe they exist. So if you are in a similar situation to OOP, or empathize with him and want to know what advice would improve his situation, what I am saying is that you should start by opening up to the possibility that OP improving his life is under his control, and then just start thinking of ways that he could. And sure, some of these ideas you come up with will be dumb, or wrong. Some will seem like great ideas but will fall apart during implementation. And that’s all fine. There are no bad ideas, even if they don’t work, because the process of creating these ideas in the first place is the most important part of the process.