To any Americans who are bidet curious or even enthusiasts, I’d highly recommend this wand style bidet: https://rinseworks.com/shop/aquaus-360-hand-held-bidet-sprayer-for-toilet/
Personally, I find fancy features, like heat, to be superfluous. Seats or seat-mounted bidets are inevitably a pain in the ass to clean. This wand has a nice long hose. Not only can it clean your ass, but it can also help you to clean your bathroom. It should last a lifetime. And, of course, installation is a breeze not requiring electricity. If you are afraid of the cold, rest assured you will adapt. It will zap you awake.
Careful with the bidet conversation. I saw someone on plebbit explain how they don’t have to wash their hands after they take a shit because they have a bidet that washes and dries their asshole.
Wet wipes. Does everything a bidet does w/o getting a squirt in your asshole.
And then you have that nasty little foot pedal trashcan next to your toilet because you don’t flush the wipes, right?
…you don’t flush the wipes…do you?
So it takes all the fun away from using a bidet
A bottle of water. Wash yourself back there. Yes, like properly with your hand, like what you do in the shower. A lot more hygienic.
No, it’s not “disgusting” doing that. You go back there with toilet paper anyway. You think shit moisture doesn’t get on your hand when using toilet paper?
I tend to just hop in the shower for a sec.
But all of that is only really an option at home, anywhere else it’s eternal wiping.
“Shit moisture”, you ppl. are going insane…
is that Pangaea?
Or get a Bidet. Like a build in one.
Horror story:
Shaved mine in prep for my first colonoscopy. I know, they see some nasty shit, don’t know why I cared. Took TWO bottles of the lemon flavored ass blaster juice.
Ended up holding my ass cheeks apart and screaming at my ex-wife, “Get the neighbor! GET THE NEIGHBOR!” Said neighbor was a nurse but I was in such agony I couldn’t think of her name.
Halfway down my ass cheeks, and all the way down from there, my flesh looked sandpapered, sunburned. Pain doesn’t make me cry, but my eyes were plenty blurry that night.
And I still had to shit more lemon juice. Try not to think on this story.
Buddy anything other then soap around you squishy bits is asking for trouble.
What the fuck is “lemon flavored ass blaster juice”??
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodium_citrate
In solution with water it tastes somewhere between the worlds worst flattest sprite and a sweet lemon.
Why would you drink two bottles of that before a colonoscopy?!
Can’t tell if you’re joking, but you have to. The doctor prescribes it, and it cleans everything out of your system. By the end, you’re just crapping out the lemon drink itself and you’re squeaky clean for the camera
What was the neighbor’s reaction?
I thought you wanted your neighbour to watch for a moment there
“Oh? That wasn’t what you called me for?”
puts away wine bottle
My life is better knowing i will.never do this to myself.
Thanks - you’ve made the rest of us look better, just by sharing your story
bidets or water solve this too
You can get a toilet bidet attachment that turns your toilet into a washlet. Get a good one with front and back settings, and you don’t have to wipe the front either.
As often is the case, it’s best to do a little of both.
All fun and games until you try and let a sneaky one rip in public
I did this once
The feeling of sweaty aka slippery butt cheeks in summer while walking to class and worst of all climbing stairs was too much. And let’s not forget that farts have a to physically separate your cheeks to escape. Too much weird feeling.
Never again
Now I let my butthole grow some hair but keep it trimmed low because I’m not a heathen
Just use some gold bond or other body powder. Problem solved. Thongs also solve the problem and are really quite comfortable once you’re used to them.
I’m pretty sure this is where the term “butt trumpet” came from.
Just get a damn bidet. Life changing.
Take just it
I don’t know where they keep theirs. I’ll probably need to just get my own.
Check their toilets
Not all poops occur at home.
Travel bidet. I know of two co-workers who bring one to work daily. Think squeeze bottle with a long straw.
Edit: personally I’m not a fan, to be clear, but it’s possible.
I tried shaving my asshole but he ran away and never came back.
Wait 2 days, till it starts growing back.
This is why three seashells are superior to TP.
Stop trying to push your BS Dr. Cocteau.
HAH! He doesn’t know what the seashells are for!
fr tho, from personal experience shaving ur arsehole is a fucking blessing
I could not imagine the regrowth itch from that being part of the blessed experience?
There simply is none if you do it regularly, at least for me.
As someone with a lot of experience shaving body hair, if you do it regularly it’s fine. If you do it every once in a while, that’s where it gets itchy. Tbh armpits get the itchiest regrowth, for me anyway.
A truly brutal experience I’ll never revisit.
that is 100% true.
but since i found that i actually enjoy all my body hair being off, i just shave everything 1-2 times a week.
except my beard. gotta have something to remain dwarven.
Ugh, that’s so much work, though. I found that the OG Ball-ber (trimmer for your balls) had guide combs that were perfect for my body hair and trimming my whole body only took 10 minutes.
When I broke it I upgraded to the Pro, and unfortunately the guide comb sucks (it’s a shitty dial one that’s facing the wrong way).
Shaving can be… bad: https://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/35274458.html
Came looking for exactly that epic story 😄
Bidet is the way